How to start homeschooling, for the mom who googled it at 11 p.m. — Hey Mandy Davis

To the Mom Who Just Googled “How to Homeschool” at 11 p.m.

3 min read

New to Homeschooling

I know what time it is. The house is finally quiet, the dishwasher is running, and you typed a question into a search bar that you haven’t said out loud to anyone yet.

Maybe something happened at pickup today. Maybe it’s been building all year. Maybe you’ve just been watching your child get smaller and smaller on the walk into that building and something in you finally said enough.

I want you to know two things before you read another word. You are not crazy. And you are not alone.

I never once thought, “one day I’ll homeschool my kids.” I was a teacher. Then a principal. I believed in school buildings with my whole heart, and in a lot of ways I still do — I believe in the people inside them. But I stood in a hallway one afternoon and realized I had spent years fighting for other people’s children inside a structure I couldn’t change, while my own were growing up in it. That was my 11 p.m.

What I wish someone had told me that night

Mandy in the kitchen holding a laptop

You don’t have to decide tonight. The search bar makes it feel like a cliff. It’s a path, and the first step is embarrassingly small: find out what your state requires. That’s it. Most states ask for a simple letter of intent and very little else. Knowing the actual rule — instead of the rule you’re imagining — takes the fear down by half.

You are already qualified. You taught this child to talk. To use a spoon. To look both ways. Nobody handed you a certificate for any of it. Two decades in education taught me that the best teachers aren’t the ones with the most training — they’re the ones who know the child. You have a head start no classroom teacher will ever get.

You are already qualified.

You don’t need a curriculum yet. I know the ads are already finding you. Close them. The first weeks of homeschooling are for something else entirely: watching. Read together. Go outside. Cook. Notice what your child reaches for when nobody assigns anything. That watching is the most important curriculum decision you’ll make, and it costs nothing.

It doesn’t have to look like school. The picture in your head — the desks, the schedule, the six subjects before lunch — that’s the thing you’re leaving. Homeschooling at its best is learning that feels like living. Most days at our house it looks like a morning basket, a long walk, and a lot of questions I don’t know the answers to.

It’s allowed to be a trial. Nothing about this is a lifetime vow. Families try a semester and go back. Families try a semester and never look back. Both are fine. Both are parents doing the job.

Before you decide anything: five places to start tonight — your state's rule at hslda.org/legal, tell one person, a library card, one chapter of The Homeschool Bible, the Homebuilt Community waitlist

The one thing I’d do tomorrow

Tell one person. Your husband, your sister, a friend who won’t panic. Say it out loud: I’m thinking about homeschooling. The word gets smaller the moment it leaves your mouth.

Then go to bed. The search results will still be there in the morning, and so will the pull on your heart that brought you here.

If you have that pull — try it. I have never once met a mother who regretted finding out what her child was capable of at home.

Here’s to the mom who finally typed the question. You are closer than you think.

When you’re ready for the next step, the Homebuilt Community opens in October — free to join, with a new-homeschooler supply list, a letter of intent template for your state, and moms who remember exactly what tonight feels like. The waitlist is at heymandydavis.com/community.

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